A WOMAN who used her immense savings to purchase a house is now under the impression that she is living in poverty.
Emma Bradford came to the conclusion that she was poor while checking her bank account from the comfort of one of the many rooms she now owns.
Bradford said: “The other day I was flush with cash, and now all I’ve got to show for it is a roof over my head. What gives?
“I feel as poor as a Dickensian family all crammed into a single tiny room. The only difference is that all of mine are massive and I live by myself. Plus I’ve got BritBox.
“Everyone says I’ll be making a huge saving compared to renting, but it doesn’t feel like that right now. I’ve barely got two pennies to rub together until I get paid again in a few days.”
Stepping from her en suite master bedroom onto her balcony, Bradford added: “I think my phone’s buggered too. Whenever I tell friends who don’t own their own home about my destitution I hear a strange noise like teeth grinding. That’ll cost a few quid to fix.
“Maybe I should rent out this place at an exorbitant price and use the profits to buy another house. I’ve heard that’s what people do and it seems to be brilliant for everyone involved.”