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My wife messages a colleague past midnight and deletes texts – should I worry?

TEXT STRESS

DEAR DEIDRE: IF I object to my wife getting late-night texts from a man she works with, she says there is nothing to it.

He often texts her after midnight and she usually responds immediately, or first thing in the morning before she gets out of bed.


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I wouldn’t dream of contacting another woman at this time of night, especially knowing they were in a relationship, let alone married.

But my wife thinks it is OK and this is the norm.

I am 46 and my wife is 44.

We have been married for 18 years and have two boys aged 15 and 13.

My wife deletes the messages knowing it frustrates me and makes me even more anxious.

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She has already told me how she didn’t like me messaging women I know, so I don’t do it.

Should I be concerned or am I just old-fashioned?

DEIDRE SAYS:  Some people see nothing wrong at all with texting a member of the opposite sex who is not their partner. Others, like you, see it as being emotionally unfaithful.

If your wife has nothing to hide, she would be willing to show you the texts, not delete them.

This is not going to stop if you keep quiet and stew about it. Tell her how hurt you feel and that things cannot go on as they are.

Ask her to focus her attention on your relationship, which is suffering as a result of this. My Relationship MOT support pack will help.

READ DEIDRE'S PHOTO CASEBOOK Laurie is flirting with her emergency electrician