DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend says his biggest wish is to propose, marry me and start a family – but he is Polish and feels very unsettled away from home and has no family or friends here.
We’ve been together for four years. I’m 26 and he is 28. He has a big family and friends at home who claim to think the world of him, but they won’t support him with his life with me in the UK.
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We visit them several times a year but they never come over to see us here. He has a job here, which means he can stay, and admits it would help him feel more settled if his family would visit.
I love him but I don’t want to waste my time with a man that won’t move forward with me. I am starting to resent his family, too, because they are trying to get him to go back.
DEIDRE SAYS: How about you going to live with him over there? Are you prepared to give up everything here for him?
I suspect that hasn’t really entered your thinking but it should if you’re going to be able to talk with him more constructively.
Draw up a list of pros and cons of both options together and it could break the deadlock.