United Kingdom

Woman reveals relative who has a shrine in his living room has struggled to find love

A woman divided opinion when she asked if a shrine to a late parent would be a relationship deal breaker.  

Posting anonymously on UK-based website Mumsnet, the woman explained she has an eligible male relative who is single and questioned whether it is because he has a shrine to his parents in his living room. 

Responses to the post were divided, with some saying it was simply a mark of love and respect while others said memorials should be kept in the cemetery.   

An anonymous woman, who lives in the UK, has sparked a debate about dating someone who has a shrine in their home (file image)

Posting on Mumsnet, the woman explained her relative who has an urn in his living room has struggled to find love despite being good looking, wealthy and well educated 

Asking for opinions, the woman wrote: 'This is half hypothetical. I'm not the potential lover but an old relative of mine had a long sideboard in his living room dedicated to his dead parents, with false flowers and a big wooden urn in the middle which reminded me of a coffin.

'He remains single despite being fairly wealthy, educated, funny, kind and good looking. Obviously I don't know him in a romantic capacity so I don't know the whole story but I always figured the reason he was single was because of this big memorial in his living room.

'Now I'm a woman I can honestly say it would put me off dating someone who didn't tick all the other boxes but this man seems to tick every box. Would it put you off?'

Many responses to the post claimed they would date someone who has a memorial but would be concerned that they may have other issues.

One person wrote: 'If he was otherwise a great guy then no. It wouldn't put me off. Everyone has their eccentricities. Also it's more normal in some cultures than others. But I suspect it's indicative of a deeper issue.'

Another said: 'It wouldn't put me off per se, but it is quite likely that someone who did this would have other issues or characteristics lurking beneath the surface that would make a relationship difficult.

'You assume that women were put off but he might have avoided seeking a relationship because of his dedication to the memory of his parents. But, remains looming over you in the living room isn't the most romantic of atmospheres for most people.' 

Some responses to the post said they wouldn't allow a memorial to influence their relationship but they would be concerned about that their partner could have other issues 

However others agreed with the woman who begun the thread, arguing someone who has a shrine in their home probably hasn't come to terms with their loved one's death.

'Dragging his past into his future, he wouldn't see me for dust (or ashes),' wrote one.

Agreeing, another wrote: 'Yes, such a thing would put me off. Shrines belong in cemeteries.

A third added: 'Yeah it would put me off simply because he hasn't come to terms with their deaths in the slightest at the minimum and that's the minimum kind of problem you've got there. It's not healthy for him at all. He should talk to someone about that really, it's sad that he is still grieving like that.' 

Another said: 'Yeah it'd put me right off. DH and I went to view a house with something like this. It put us off buying the house. They actually had a wall built up to make a king of large niche in it which had an urn with ashes, photos, crucifixes and candles. Funnily enough, the estate agent had not put a photo of that room on the listing'

Many others agreed they wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone who has a memorial 

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