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Polyamorous mother reveals she is raising her baby to be GENDERLESS

A mother who is in a relationship with both a man and another woman has revealed how she is raising her baby to be genderless - while sharing co-parenting duties with both of her live-in partners. 

Brittany Taylor, 32, from Rhode Island, has been in an open relationship with her nine-month-old baby's father Conor McMillen, 36, from California, for more than four years, after meeting him at a health festival in New York.  

However, in 2018, she met and became romantically involved with Bridgette Wolleat, 30, who soon after moved in with Brittany and Conor in their home in Austin, Texas, where she continues to enjoy a relationship with Brittany while helping to raise the couple's child Ilya.  

Unique: Polyamorous mom Brittany Taylor (right) lives with her baby's father, Conor McMillen (center) and her lover, Bridgette Wolleat (left) and the trio co-parents her child together 

Choice: Brittany, 32, has revealed that the trio are raising her nine-month-old baby, Ilya, to be genderless, explaining that they want the child to have the option to choose a gender

Special: Conor, 36, and Brittany had been together for around four years when Brittany gave birth to their baby. They had been living with Bridgette for around a year 

Bond: Brittany and Conor had been in an open relationship before meeting Bridgette, and to begin with, it was just Brittany who became romantically involved with her 

Brittany and Conor firmly believe that their fluid, sex-positive relationship - with each other and with their external partners - will have a positive influence on their child, Ilya. In fact, they credit their way of life with providing Ilya with important lessons about love, unconditional support, and the importance of being yourself. 

The couple have also decided not to gender Ilya and use non-binary pronouns.

Brittany and Conor split their parenting duties with Bridgette – a holistic health coach with whom Brittany still shares a romantic relationship with.  

Despite oftentimes having separate intimate partners, Brittany and Conor attribute their openness and honesty with strengthening the bond they share with each other.

The couple regularly share videos with their 55,000 YouTube subscribers talking about their unique family dynamic. Brittany and Conor have received a positive response to this and hope to continue to promote and normalize fluid, healthy relationships.

'We share co-parenting with Ilya. We split it really evenly,' Brittany said.

'I'm with Ilya more than Bridgette or Conor. I'm their mom so I breastfeed exclusively but Bridgette is just as much of a co-parent.

'We just have so much appreciation for what everybody's doing and the time and energy that they're putting in.

'The relationships we have with each other are so important because they set the vibe that Ilya is in. We're all really intentional about how we show up and the basis of that is so much love and encouragement for everybody to be supportive of each other.

'We are not gendering Ilya. We are open to them gendering themselves or not – however they desire – when or if it comes up for them. 

Spreading a message: Brittany and Conor believe that their fluid, sex-positive relationship - with each other and with their external partners - will have a positive influence on their child

Duties: Brittany, pictured with Conor, is the only person who breastfeeds Ilya, however other than that she says the trio share the co-parenting duties between them 

Future: 'We are not gendering Ilya,' Brittany said. 'We are open to them gendering themselves or not – however they desire – when or if it comes up for them'

'We don't feel that any of us identify with a particular gender role that society has defined and prefer having the fluidity to be whoever we are in each moment.'

Brittany continued: 'Conor has wanted a child for about a decade. I assumed I would [have children] with my previous partner but then I realized I was thinking about having children because it felt like the next thing to do – not because I'm consciously choosing it.

'When I met Conor, I told him I didn't know if I wanted kids.

'[But then] things shifted at some point. I developed a natural desire to have a child and I think it was always in there inside me. I've always felt maternal.

'It was so exciting to get to embrace it without the assumption that I had to.

'It's interesting because we're three parents, but we think it would be really amazing to have four.

'It's something Ilya will totally just know – like anything else they're learning about their environment. They don't have a basis for what is normal. We all grew up in different environments – whatever we grew up with was normal to us.'

Brittany and Conor are very open about how their relationship works. The couple believe their honesty will encourage others to open up about their unexplored desires.

'Primarily, I connected with Bridgette romantically whilst Conor and Bridgette were navigating a friendship,' Brittany said.

'We've had so many renditions of what our relationship looks like between then and now. At a lot of times, it looks like a lot of different things. 

Bond: Brittany confessed that she didn't initially want children when she met Conor, however she says she began to 'develop a natural desire to have a child'

Close: Brittany says that she and Bridgette became romantically involved almost immediately, while initially Conor and Bridgette were focusing more on friendship 

Looking ahead: Brittany and Conor say that they would love to have more children and give Ilya siblings, but noted that they may well bring more sexual partners and co-parents into the mix

'We love not having labels, but they can be helpful search terms for people to find other people doing similar things.

'It's really common for us to say polyamorous. We've used the word triad before. We've used metamours, but we like the term relationship anarchy. It means there are no words to describe what we're doing.

'We've had such a positive response which makes sense because of the way we're going about it. So many people reach out to us and say, "I do things totally different, but I love what you're sharing, and I see so much value in it."

'Parents reach out to us and say, "I'd love to have more tribe, more family, more community around me."

'I think that's an innate truth that we used to do this more in tribes. I think it's a lot for people to take on and it's a lot to do with stress and endurance. So many people can appreciate the vision of being in a community which can help and support them and their children.

'Things like competition and jealousy fall away when you're in this space of thinking we're all doing this together. We really love that undertone of unity and encouragement of the individual in the collective.

'A lot of the themes we share might seem radical to some people but underneath it, what we're sharing is about unity and how everything can and does exist in harmony.'

Brittany and Conor are looking forward to possibly extending their family in the future.

'One thing we're really excited about is this idea of creating more community,' Brittany said. 'That'll probably look like us living with more people.

'Plans can look different at different times. From the right place, it can sound fun to have another child and have more partnerships.'