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Mother, 31, questions if she ever really knew her boyfriend - after he kills their baby

A mother has spoken about the horror of discovering her boyfriend had killed their young son. 

Tracy Ray, 31, from Farringdon, Oxfordshire, has revealed how she forgave her former boyfriend for cheating, so that their son Jayden could grow up with both parents.

Speaking for the first time in Take A Break magazine after her ex, Jordon Saxton, was convicted of manslaughter for the death of their 11-week-old baby in 2015, she said that he'd been an 'amazing' father from the moment their son was placed in his arms and would help with nappies and night feeds.

She says that accepting that Jordan, who was 22 when he was sentenced to nine years in prison, had been violent towards their 11-week-old baby was difficult. 

Tracy said: 'I found it hard to come to terms with Jordon's violence towards Jayden. I'd never seen him angry and it made me wonder if I'd ever really known him.' 

Tracy Ray, 31, from Farringdon, Oxfordshire, questions if she ever really knew the father of her son, after Jordon Saxton (pictured) was convicted for the death of Jayden, 11-weeks-old

Tracy who had ended her relationship with Jordon after discovering that he had been sleeping with his ex-girlfriend around the time she had become pregnant, had agreed they should rekindle after he persuaded her to give him another chance.

She admits that she questioned if she had made the right decision, when the 22-year-old said he was unsure if he was ready to have a baby. 

Tracy recalled that Jordon seemed besotted when Jayden was born, despite his initial hesitation.

She said: 'At home, Jordon helped out with nappies and night feeds. He couldn't do enough for our son.' 

Tracy Ray (pictured right) broke up with Jordon despite being pregnant, after discovering that he had been unfaithful - but soon took him back to ensure Jayden would have both a mother and a father

Jordon (pictured) who was left alone with Jayden while Tracy went to her father's house, said the baby had stopped breathing after chocking 

However, when Jayden was ten weeks old he became difficult to settle after contracting a sickness bug. 

Jordon offered to look after a poorly Jayden, while Tracy went to her father's house. 

She remembers Jordon sounding 'odd' when she rang to check on the newborn, as he explained that an ambulance had just arrived because Jayden had stopped breathing. 

Jayden was rushed to hospital, where a doctor explained to Tracy that he wasn't going to survive.

In a state of disbelief, she initially felt certain that Jodron had nothing to do with her son's death, and reassured herself that he 'loved' Jayden.  

Jordon (pictured) was sentenced to nine years in prison, as a postmortem determined that Jayden had 18 fractures, several broken ribs and a brain injury 

A postmortem determined that Jayden had 18 fractures, several broken ribs and had been blinded by a severe brain injury.

Tracy who had left Jayden with Jordon for just an hour and a half, was told by her boyfriend that their son had suddenly started choking when he tried to feed him.

However, Oxfordshire Crown Court head that Jayden's injuries were the result of being violently shaken with force, 'similar to a high-speed car crash'. 

The jury heard that Jayden was also found to have a number of older injuries, dating back to between two and four weeks before he died. 

Mr Justice Rabinder Singh said that having failed to explain his actions, nobody but Jordon would ever really know what happened to Jayden that night. 

He said: 'I am satisfied you acted as you did in frustration you could not settle Jayden.

'Jayden had been unwell, having suffered from a vomiting bug earlier in the week and it may be he became more difficult to settle than normal, although you must have acted with sufficient force.'

Five years on, Tracy who has had two children with someone new, is trying to get on with her life, but will never be able to come to terms with her grief. 

She added: 'I'll never stop missing my baby and wondering about the little boy he would have been. I don't think my heart will ever mend.' 

Tracy (pictured centre) who has had two children with someone new, admits she has struggled since losing Jayden