'You must be joking. I'm not going to wear a bloody halo!'
'Don't worry! You've got five seconds' start and if it's not a clean shot, my wife wrings your neck'
'Now what has New Labour done? First they scrap Britannia, then the Royal Train...'
'I'll tell everyone he slipped in the bath. But I'm warning you, Harry - don't you dare take your grandfather clubbing again'
'How terribly exciting, Philip, dear. They're making a film called Helen Mirren and I've been offered the part'
'Right. I've decided. After the Jubilee adn the Olympics we slow down a bit. What do you think, Philip?'
'I assure you, ambassador, my wife meant no offence to you slitty-eyed people'
'Of course, Kate. Now that he's retired completely I'm sure he'd love to babysit a few days a week. I'll ask him'