Great Britain

You helped my husband and I sort our finances and our relationship


DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I wrote to you, I was at the end of my tether.

Although I loved my husband, I was frustrated by his unwillingness to help pay for the bills or the food shopping.

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Yet he’d turn up with new clothes and gadgets the whole time while I couldn’t afford any little treats.

I’m 44, he’s 46 and now earns the same as me, and I was starting to think he was just tight-fisted. I was almost at the point of asking him to leave.

You said I should explain how stressed I was by having to pay for everything rather than berating him.

You sent me your support pack, Family Finances, which was so helpful.

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Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

And you also said we should set up a joint bank account, into which we could pay an agreed amount each month.

I can’t thank you enough, Deidre, because it did the trick.

He has been contributing half of everything every payday since – and we’re now setting up that account.

DEIDRE SAYS: I am so delighted to hear this. Communicating our feelings is nearly always the answer.

The trick is not to make the other person feel inadequate or defensive, so they want to help.

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