What is wrong with the Premier League?
Are they more plodding than a snail on a go-slow? Totally indifferent to the pent-up emotions of fans? Unconcerned about a £300m business deal? Weak kneed? Or simply unable to consider two challenges at once?
Those are the things every one of us Geordies is asking as with our noses pressed against the window like a kid outside a sweetie shop we wait for the door to invitingly swing open.
Honestly, what has gone on is a bigger puzzle than Hampton Court's maze.
It appears the PL used to be unsure but now they aren't so certain!
I mean, how long does it take to consider if prospective buyers are 'fit and proper persons?'
Let us be quite clear about this: the two main objections to a takeover - human rights and TV piracy - were well known to the Premier League and us all from the very first day Amanda Staveley's consortium lodged their bid for approval. It's not as though a new revelation has suddenly been discovered to throw everyone into confusion.
Oh, I know some complicated situations can take time . . . buying a house, council planning etc. But this is beyond the pale.
It is now almost two months since Amanda and Co submitted their detailed plans to receive formal acceptance - a process that was expected to take around 30 days top whack.
It's taken twice that already and we're still waiting, still counting the never ending passing of days amid deafening silence and many false dawns.
I repeat: waiting for what? Nowt has changed.
Let us take the latest objection to Geordie dreams, that the World Trade Organisation is convinced there a link between the Saudis and TV piracy. Nothing new there _ that particular inquiry began in 2018 with the full knowledge of the Premier League and the Saudis so neither can be shocked and no doubt the consortium's lawyers were well prepared for such a 'revelation' when they began this attempted transfer of power.
I know the PL have had to grapple with the not inconsiderable problem of Project Restart in the wake of an unprecedented coronavirus pandemic but with all the machinery at their disposal, all the legal eagles on tap, are they unable to handle two problems at one time? It looks that way to outsiders.
Yes, restarting football is a huge undertaking but ignoring Newcastle fans teetering on a knife edge and treating the Saudis willingness to spend an initial £300m on one of their clubs with apparent casualness is all too much.
If the PL had been suffocated for the last 13 years as United supporters have they might realise what is riding on this yes or no.
To hear talkSPORT host Jim White, who is also a top presenter for Sky Sports News, declare on Monday that PL officials had yet to even have a proper look at the proposed takeover beggars belief.
He insisted: "A lot is going on around the game at the moment, and it's my understanding that the Premier League are yet to seriously examine all aspects of the bid. They still haven't got their head around the ins-and-outs and the finer details of the bid."
Really? Honestly? The PL "haven't got their head around the finer details?" Am I supposed to believe that? What the heck have they been doing all this time? Did they throw the detailed takeover plans into the back of a dusty cupboard? Or file under 'not important?'
On May 9, growing impatient like every United fan, I declared in my Chron column: "Enough is enough - it's time to make a decision."
If it felt a long time then it seems an eternity now for Geordies who have endured the raising of objections from every source imaginable aimed at derailing the process and killing their hopes.
The PL need to end the misery of their paying customers, for that is what all supporters are, and at the same time do themselves a favour by killing ever growing conjecture stone dead before it devours them.
Instead they are allowing everyone, justified or not, to jump on a quickening bandwagon while the government and leading firms willingly do business with the Saudis and the monarchy are happy to entertain them for the benefit of the country. Double standards abound.
Richard Keys, who has a vested interest in the outcome of course, is a regular Geordie basher and shows no signs of letting up.
Speaking in a special broadcast on beIN Sports this week Keys openly speculated over how much pressure the government has secretly put on the Premier League "who know they should turn this down."
Twenty four hours later the Guardian, who like to take up cudgels, weighed in to reveal under an 'exclusive' banner that the World Trade Organisation have ruled Saudi is behind a pirate satellite TV and streaming service that offers illegal access to sporting events.
It told all willing to listen: "While the WTO's 130-page final report will not be published until mid-June it is understood that the independent ruling firmly establishes that the Saudi government is behind beoutQ."
The PL received the report this month and, trumpeted our revealers, it throws the Newcastle takeover "into serious doubt". Certainly it provides another excuse to hold it up yet again should there be a will to do that though even the author of the piece admitted he won't be surprised if it still goes through.
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I mean what the heck is going on at this very late stage? Do we hang around until enough mud is thrown for some to stick and give an excuse for rejection?
Geordies meanwhile run the gauntlet of emotions . . . it's done, it isn't, it will be shortly, there's a serious delay.
These decision makers are people entrusted with running the biggest league in world football. Surely they can manage to juggle more than one decision at the same time. Surely they have the guts to act - against general public opinion if necessary. Yes or no? It isn't too difficult.