Great Britain

We celebrate the return of football by revealing the nation’s best chants

IT’S just ten days until English footie is back on our screens as the Premier League returns.

But with all games being behind closed doors, fans will have to make do with simulated crowd noises supplied by TV broadcasters.

To celebrate our nation’s great ability to devise a witty chant, we reveal some of footie’s best . . .

Walsall

WALSALL supporters poked fun at an injured Forest Green Rovers player rolling around on the ground.

Forest Green is the Football League’s “greenest” ground and all food sold at the stadium is plant-based.

“That vegan b*****d, he’s eating our grass.”

Ipswich Town

AWAY FANS had a dig when Ipswich Town goalkeeper Dean Gerken was deemed at fault for a goal and chanted . . .

“Stayed in a burger. You should have stayed in a burger.”

Man City

MAN CITY’s crowd like to mock their own ground, which rarely sells out, with a chant to the Beautiful South’s Rotterdam.

“We’ve been to Rotterdam and Monaco,

“Napoli and Rome,

“We’ve still got blue empty seats,

“Empty seats at hooooome,

“Empty seat at home.”

Chelsea

CHELSEA supporters struggle to pronounce their Spanish captain Cesar Azpilicueta’s name.

“We’ll just call him Dave, We’ll just call him Daa-aave.

“Az-pili-cueta. We’ll just call him Dave.”

West Ham

WEST HAM fans thought Newcastle’s Jonjo Shelvey is a double for Harry Potter’s nemesis Lord Voldermort.

“Harry Potter, he’s coming for you.”

France and Man City

AWAY FANS’ taunt to France and Man City defender Sylvain Distin after we reported he had a three-year fling with a blonde woman while claiming to be a milkman.

“He’s up at half four, he’s up at half four, oh Sylvain Distin he’s up at half four.”

Everton

EVERTON’S Richarlison de Andrade may never have heard of She’s Electric by Oasis until his fans invented this song about him.

“He’s Brazilian, He only cost £50million, And we think he’s f***ing brilliant . . . Richarlison.”

Scotland

SCOTLAND’s Tartan Army mockingly threatened Italy fans when they played them away.

“Deep fry yer pizzas, We’re gonna deep fry yer pizzas.”

Forest Green Rovers

FOREST GREEN ROVERS taunted Dagenham goalkeeper Elliot Justham about his name.

“You’re just a s**t Tesco sandwich.”

Derby County

DERBY COUNTY fans had a funny take on the Spurs song “He’s one of our own” about star striker Harry Kane after fielding a team made up largely of borrowed players.

“He’s one of our loans, he’s one of our loans . . .”

Everton

EVERTON fans about its former Russian star Diniyar Bilyaletdinov.

“He’s quick, he’s tame, we can’t pronounce his name, Russian lad, Russian lad!”

Premier League TV fixtures announced as Man Utd visit Tottenham and Man City host Arsenal

Football news:

Gasperini on two penalties for Juve: They are above any rules in Italy. Did we have to cut off our hands?
Sarri Pro 2:2 with Atalanta: We played with one of the best teams in Europe right now
Pep Guardiola: Manchester City have won a place in the Champions League on the pitch. I hope that UEFA will allow us to play
Atalanta extended their unbeaten streak to 14 games and is ranked 3rd in Serie A
Ronaldo scored his 27th goal in Serie A, converting a penalty in the game against Atalanta. Immobile has 29 balls
Sterling scored 27 goals for the season and broke his record. He scored a hat-trick against Brighton
Three Atalanta players have scored 15+ goals in the Serie A season. This is the best result since 1952