Great Britain

We bring you some of the most cheeky non-PC advice from cult comic mag Viz


IT’S the comical magazine that brings much-needed irreverence to an increasingly PC world. And now a new book – Him Off The Viz – to celebrate Viz’s history from its 1979 launch is out.

While foul-mouthed characters such as The Fat Slags and childish gags drew complaints, it won an army of fans including pop icon David Bowie.

The mag was also renowned for its mickey-taking tips for solving some of life’s little problems.

Here, Sarah Arnold brings you some of the most cheeky.

Men: Recreate the thrill of being a male stripper at a hen party by repeatedly shouting: “Off! Off! Off!” to yourself in a high-pitched voice whenever you undress.

Taxpayers: Beat the taxman by only ever doing a job for three months, then resigning and signing on for the next three months. That way, you get back the tax you paid while you were working.

Formula One drivers: Put a “Baby On Board” sticker in your car and watch drivers behind you slow right down, thereby allowing you to win every time.

Constipated driving instructors: Alleviate your discomfort by disconnecting the dual controls on the car when instructing a pupil.

Men: When listening to your favourite CD or album, simply turn the volume up to the sound you desire – then turn it down three notches. This will save your wife having to do it.

Young folk: Avoid having to say, “Know what I’m saying” all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.

Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin.

Astronauts: If contemplating another moon landing, increase your chance of success by travelling there when the moon is full.

British tourists: Save time achieving that authentic sunburnt look by aggressively rubbing your body with sandpaper before you go on holiday. Complete the effect by applying some Deep Heat rub.

Gamblers: For a new gambling opportunity, try sending £50 to yourself by Royal Mail.

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