A mum has sparked an interesting debate on an incredibly sensitive subject, after learning that her sister-in-law would not be coming to spend Christmas with her family this year.

Her husband's sister and her husband were supposed to be coming over this Christmas to celebrate with the extended family; something has been planned since around August this year.

However, the sister-in-law very recently got in touch to say they wouldn't be coming as planned, as they're currently trying to conceive, and didn't want their "good fortune rubbed in her face."

"My husband and his sister have a strained relationship and have since childhood. I have always got on very well with her but she has a competitive edge which is draining after a while," the mum, who has two children, aged one and four, wrote on Mumsnet.

She said it would be too painful to be around children (


Getty Images/iStockphoto)

"She always said we would have weddings/children around the same time but it just didn't work out that way. They have been trying for their first since June after their wedding in May."

She continued: "It was agreed ages ago that we would host my sister-in-law and her husband, my mother and father-in-law and my parents and siblings for Christmas, as the in-laws' house is only a mile from us and my family will stay over.

"My sister-in-law has messaged tonight and said she can't see us over Christmas, as it's too hard whilst they're trying to conceive and she can't have our 'good fortune rubbed in her face.' She's also said she would prefer her parents also decline so they can spend it together."

The mum went on to say that she's completely sympathetic as to how hard it is to spend time with babies when you're so desperate to have some of your own, but explained that her having "good fortune" is not entirely the case.

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"In between my two children, I suffered an ectopic where I lost a tube, as well as two early losses and a 16-week loss. She knows this, she watched me go through the entire f***ing thing," she wrote.

"The comment on good fortune has gone around and around my tiny head all evening and I'm p***ed off about it, I feel as though she's worded it like that deliberately to hit a chord. I know I do have very good fortune to have two healthy children and I'm so grateful but f***, the youngest was hard won and I feel as though she's poked the best a bit."

One Mumsnet user responded: "As someone who struggled please don't take it personally. She is probably so far inside her own head over being upset and stressed that your struggle probably hasn't even registered."

"I suspect from her point of view, she’d take your pain in return for two healthy kids. Infertility is tough, please try to be gentle," another added.

A third wrote: "It’s not fucking infertility when she’s been trying a few months. I speak as someone who obsessively avoided babies and Christmas after trying for FIVE years.

"Sorry, but she’s being an absolute dick. I hope your in laws still come as I think it would be totally unfair if they didn’t."

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