Great Britain

My sister-in-law called me selfish for throwing a 1st birthday for my daughter as their baby died the day she was born

A MOTHER explained that she and her family are at crisis point after her sister-in-law demanded she cancel her daughter's first birthday as it was the anniversary her own child's death.

The upset woman explained that she and her sister-in-law were pregnant at the same time, but here brother and sister-in-law's baby sadly passed away a few days after it was born - the same day she gave birth to her own daughter.

A year on from the tragedy, the woman has been accused of being selfish for hosting a 1st birthday for her child as her brother and sister-in-law want to take the day to mourn.

Taking to Reddit, the woman said: "Me and my brother's wife have a dreadful relationship but we're cordial as we can be.

"We were both pregnant at the time but she went into labor early and the baby was taken to the NICU with serious health issues. I kept checking on my brother daily.

He was so worried and couldn't eat or sleep properly for an entire week. While his wife literally kept posting pictures of their daughter on Facebook and gleefully saying she defeated me and had the first grandchild.

"She mean to be hurtful but I took no offence because I understood she was trying to stay positive in bad circumstances."

It was only a few days later that she went into labour herself and had her daughter.

She explained: "The day my daughter was born my brother called me and my husband crying saying his daughter was gone hours ago.

"We were devastated for him and SIL. There were many things I couldn't do because I was afraid my sister-in-law was going to feel hurt.

"But throughout the next months I started getting excluded from family events unless I leave my daughter home. My husband thought my family were being unreasonable by making these requests but mom said it's a phase."

With the background laid out, the unhappy mum went on to explain the argument surrounding her daughter's party.

She said: "My daughter's first birthday will be in few days. We decided to celebrate at home.

"We got calls from family wanting to attend which made my brother and sister-in-law upset because almost everyone apologized for not being able to attend my niece's death anniversary to attend my daughter's 1st birthday.

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"I asked what can we do and my brother and sister-in-law said they wanted me to cancel the party for my daughter since it's insensitive to celebrate her birthday this particular day while ignoring my niece's death.

"My husband and I said no because our daughters 1st birthday is huge event.

"My brother got agitated and called us cruel and that we were selfish and insisted I cancel the birthday if I love and care enough about his feelings as a grieving father.

"He added that my daughter won't remember anyway so this party was 'for me and my husband'.

"Mom suggested I move the party next day but I said no!, my daughter was born on x day not y day then I told my brother and his wife they were out of their mind to make such demands."

The argument escalated and she and her husband walked away, confirming that they would continue with their planned party, but her brother was fuming.

She explained: "He said he knew I don't like his wife and knew that I knew how having the birthday will hurt and mess up her mind and reminded me I was hurting him as well but obviously I don't care because if I do I'd at least cancel the party for his baby's sake.

"He wrapped up by saying he won't ever speak to me if I go through with my plans. He gave me the most guilt tripping look I've ever seen then left."

Fellow Reddit users were quick to jump in and side with the woman.

One said: "What happened to them is very sad, but they don't get to wreck your daughter birthday every year because something happened to them on that day."

Another agreed: "You stated that your family had been excluding you from events unless you didn't take your daughter, then they're trying to guilt trip you into not celebrating her birthday, and threatening to cut contact if you go ahead with the birthday celebration.
"Go ahead with it, it sounds like you'll be a lot happier without these people butting into your lives."

While a third said: "Are they going to insist your daughter never has a birthday party? Them not attending the party would have been completely understandable. Demanding you cancel it is not."

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And this mum was in hysterics at ‘sweet note’ her son left his dad – which accuses him of trying to KILL him by unplugging his fan.

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