Great Britain

My husband got a woman pregnant in India and now she won’t leave me alone

DEAR DEIDRE: I ALWAYS worried about my husband taking work in India. Now a woman over there is making wild claims about him.

I am 36 and my husband is 39. We have been together for ten years and have two kids, aged eight and six.

My husband took an engineering job abroad and we agreed to try it for a year to see if we could cope with the distance.

He’s been out there for three years. To begin with, it worked well. But because of the pandemic we’ve not seen him for nearly a year. It’s been tough, essentially bringing up the children on my own. They miss him, of course.

At first I tried to ignore it but then she sent me a private message saying she knew my husband “very well”. Stupidly, I messaged her back telling her to prove it. Quick as a flash, she sent me a photo of the pair of them, stood next to each other, both smiling.

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I blocked her but she got in touch on Twitter and sent me a message gloating that she was pregnant by my husband. She even attached a photo of a baby scan.

I’m reeling. I never imagined he would do anything like this to me and our children. But how can I talk to him about this over Zoom?

Yet I don’t know when I’ll see him again to talk face to face. I’m a mess and can’t think straight.

Is this my fault for allowing our family to be separated for so long?

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DEIDRE SAYS: This stranger seems particularly keen to stake her claim on your husband and I am afraid there is no way of you knowing whether your husband has been unfaithful unless you talk to him.

Delaying this conversation won’t do you any good – and what difference does it make if you talk on Zoom, over the phone or face to face? You need the truth and either way, it sounds like your living arrangements are not working well.

This is the time to address what you both want for your family in the future.

If he is set to become a father again, he will have some ongoing financial responsibility for the child.

I am sending you my support pack on moving on after cheating. If this woman continues to harass you, contact the National Stalking Helpline (stalkinghelpline.org, 0808 802 0300).

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