DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner is reluctant to let my son move in with us.
I’m not blaming her, she has a lot on her plate and really likes him.
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He is a good kid but gets very angry and self-harms.
His mum is in recovery from drugs but living with her is not the stable home I want for him.
My partner is 48 and I am 51. She has battled with depression all her life and is worried my son’s arrival could trigger another dip.
Her dad has also been diagnosed with terminal cancer so it really isn’t great timing.
Added to which, I work in road construction and am based away from home five days a week.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like she wants to help but is scared she may not be able to cope.
It is a lot to ask her to effectively parent a troubled child who isn’t hers, especially when they will be cooped up together.
Is there any way you can change your working pattern – at least in the short term?
She may well be happy to look after him if you can be at home for half the week.
Explain you are worried that his issues may become worse if you don’t help.
You can find help through familylives.org.uk, 0808 800 2222.
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