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My boyfriend steals from me and I want to leave him for my older colleague

DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend steals from me and I’m considering leaving him for my older colleague.

I thought he was the love of my life.

But after discovering he’s been lying to me for months, I’m not sure I can stay with him.

It doesn’t help, either, that I can picture myself with this other man.

My boyfriend and I are 22 and have been together since we were 15. We moved in together last year.

Every month, I send him £750 to cover my half of the rent.

Last month, the landlord rang to ask if we’d be renewing our lease for another year.

I was stunned when he said the rent would stay at £1,000 a month. Why was my boyfriend making me pay £250 more than I needed to?

When I confronted him, he broke down in tears and told me he was using the extra money to pay off his £3,000 credit card debt.

The absolute cheek of using my money to clear up his mess!

I was furious and stormed out of the flat we share. Since then I have been staying with my sister.

One of my colleagues noticed I was down and offered to take me for a drink. It wasn’t until he started stroking my leg I realised this was more than a friendly drink.

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I was flattered. He’s handsome and clearly likes the gym. Plus, he’s 44 and I like how mature he is.

He knows exactly what he wants in life. Nothing has happened between us yet but it could if I wanted it to.

I don’t know what to do. I would never cheat on my boyfriend, so I need to make a decision.

Do I stand by my lying boyfriend and try to rebuild my trust? Or do I take a chance on my older guy?

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DEIDRE SAYS: Perhaps your boyfriend was worried you would not want to move in with him if he told you about his debts.

You need to think about your emotional wellbeing – aside from the issues with trust, is this relationship making you happy?

If the answer is yes, then my support pack Relationship MOT will help you get back on track.

Work out what you want to do with your current boyfriend before going anywhere near this older man.

There is sexual attraction between the two of you, but you don’t know whether this man is looking for anything serious.

You need to find out what his intentions are first.

Relationships where there is a large age gap can work as long as you both want the same things.

This is a lot for you to process and counselling would help. My support pack explains more.

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