Meghan Markle sobbed as she told of how life as a royal drove her to constant thoughts of suicide. Speaking to Oprah Winfrey on Sunday, the Duchess of Sussex said: ‘I was ashamed to admit it at the time, especially as how much loss (Harry’s) suffered, I just didn’t want to be alive anymore.
‘That was a very clear and real and frightening constant thought.’ Oprah then asked Meghan: ‘Were you thinking of suicidal thoughts? Where you having suicidal thoughts?’
Meghan answered: ‘Yes, this was very clear and very scary. I didn’t know who to reach out to.’ The Duchess said she asked ‘the institution’ for help with her, but says they refused to let her have psychiatric treatment.
She told of a January 2019 trip to the Royal Albert Hall with Harry to watch a Cirque du Soleil show.
Meghan said her friends had contacted her afterwards to compliment her appearance that evening – but she told Oprah of how that was the evening she came closest to her breaking point.
Explaining what happened hours before the Meghan says she told Harry: ‘I can’t be left alone.’
Referring to photos of her taken that night, Meghan told Oprah to look at ‘how tightly his knuckles are wrapped around mines.’
She added: ‘ We are smiling and doing our job, but we are just trying to hold on. Every time the lights went down in that box I was just weeping.’
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