Great Britain

Man attempts playdate and f**ks it up

OFFICE romances impact everyone in the workplace. How can you make yours especially awkward for your co-workers?

Indulge in public displays of affection

You’ve promised the boss you’ll keep it low-key, but can’t pass by your true love of a fortnight’s desk without stopping for a full-on snog that makes the rest of the room reopen that draft email to HR.

Leave disturbing stuff in the stationary cupboard

Colleagues nipping in for a few blocks of A4 to take home don’t want to find knickers on the floor or lipstick smears on the Post-Its, even if you would never actually shag in there because you suspect the boss has installed a camera.

Create a weird atmosphere in the kitchen

Go silent when someone walks into the kitchen when you’re in there alone. They’ll feel deeply awkward because they’ll think you were either snogging or bickering, when actually you were actually having a very dull conversation about Janice’s Manuka honey.

Turn meetings into passive-aggressive domestic rows

Annoyed because the object of your affection’s been flirting with a client? Bring it into a work meeting under the guise of accusing them of putting in unjustifiable expenses claims because once it’s three coffees in the office canteen it’s a date.

Break up and continue to work together for the next decade

Make life horrible for your colleagues for years to come by acrimoniously breaking up and bitching to colleagues about each other over the photocopier, even though they only started last week and haven’t got a clue what you’re talking about.