It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for: Casa Amor is back on Love Island. After sneaking out of the main villa (not even having the courtesy to make the beds before they go), the boys were the proverbial kids in a sweetshop as they met six new female contestants. Possibly the most ridiculous boy is Jake, who despite having JUST asked Liberty to be his girlfriend, appeared to undergo a lobotomy at the sight of another blonde in a bikini. Let the games begin, indeed.
Judging from Twitter, I’m not alone in thinking the Love Island girls have got the raw end of the deal here. New girls Amy, Clarisse, Lillie, Mary, Salma and Kaila all seem to have actual personalities along with their obvious looks and got cracking with the chat – Clarisse flirted up a storm with Teddy. Back at the original villa, it was a different story. The new boys are attractive, sure, but after a few seconds it became painfully obvious that they have zero idea how to interact with the opposite sex. Seriously, psychologists should watch Love Island and pose the question of whether dating apps have actually made us regress when it comes to talking to one another in real life. “I can't believe the guys got that spice rack and the girls got....this,” author and pop culture writer Bolu Babalola tweeted during the episode. Precisely. A few rounds of Truth or Dare served as an opportunity for the boys to snog as many of the new girls as possible. Hugo reckons Casa Amor is his “new beginnings”, but it seems more like a second chance for humiliation. My guess is the girls find his over-eagerness off-putting – he was the only one the girls didn’t grill about his preferences – or perhaps it’s the fact that he kisses like a teenager at his first school dance. That said, he’s got a good chance of coupling up with someone simply because he is, as writer and podcast host Victoria Sanusi observes, a passport back to the main villa.
Meanwhile, new boys Sam, Matthew, Medhy, Harry, Dale and Jack suggest the Love Island showrunners need to start importing men from overseas, because is this really the best they could manage? There are some good accents in Glaswegians Dale and Harry, and Matt from Belfast. But the initial reaction from the girls was superbly half-hearted compared to the vom-inducing giddiness of the villa boys. “They all seem really lovely so… I’ll give them the time of day,” a bored-looking Faye announced, eyes rolling to the back of her skull. Chloe was excited at first, but Harry’s revelation that as a car salesman he, wait for it, sells cars, caused a palpable sinking of hearts. We need some (different) boys in here!