TV star Kirk Norcross has spoken harrowingly about the death of his father for the first time.
In a highly-emotional series of messages posted on Instagram, the 33-year-old said he was opening up to try and stop others committing suicide.
Kirk added that "thieving little c***s in this world" were to blame for his dad's suicide.
He shared moving videos on Instagram of the flowers he is growing in his father’s greenhouse telling followers he would now help them live and grow.
Mick Norcross was found dead in January this year aged 57 and an inquest this week ruled he’d taken his life.
Kirk says he is now determined to ensure others don’t suffer in silence like his tragic dad.
He has now shared how found his father on that tragic day on January 21 and tried to save his life.
The Towie star, who now runs a jet washing service, reveals that he will forever be haunted by what happened and was too heartbroken to attend last week’s inquest.
Kirk has described his dad Mick - who had four children - as his “best friend” and hero and has urged others to speak out if they need support.
He shared his thoughts in a series of messages posted on Instagram yesterday.
Speaking to his 59,000 followers he said: “Listen I have got to talk about this and people, if you don’t want to hear it I’m not being rude but you can unfollow me.
"If I can stop one person from killing themselves, I have really made an impact in this world. I love you all. Be kind, be polite and be positive.
“You have got to let it out, you have got to talk. I know many people who have lost their fathers. But I’m trying to use this. You are not alone, if you want a chat lets talk and we can get through it together.
“The mind is a mad thing, we ain't strong enough to control that on our own. That’s why we talk. That’s why we talk to people, that’s why people talk to us.
“I don’t want sympathy, I genuinely do like people caring for me and I like caring for people. But I aint doing this for sympathy.”
I was the one that found him...Kirk Norcross
Opening up about the harrowing moment he found his dad in January, Kirk continued: “I was the one that found him. I’m glad that I found him in a sense.
"I know that sounds weird but I wouldn’t want no stranger, no doctors, no nurses having to deal with what I dealt with.
"My dad has manned up for me many times, it was my turn to step up for my dad you know. I tried to give him CPR and I knew there was no bringing him back but I had to try.”
The former Towie star admitted losing his father had had a big impact on him.
He said: “It feels like my dad died when I was a baby or something. All the talks and chats that I have had with my dad feels like it was a dream. But that’s just my brain telling me I’m not ready for it yet.
“My dad was my best friend, he still is. I don’t care what anyone says my dad is my best friend. The best man I have ever met anyway.”
Now Kirk - who has battled anxiety and depression - says he is 12 weeks sober.
"I know a lot of people who have already dealt with what I’m dealing with and said it doesn’t get better, it gets a little bit easier to deal with. Obviously the image I have got in my head will never leave me. That’s the only image I have got of my dad of how I found him.
He said: “I’m three months sober, that’s the longest I have been sober. I was near on a year last year but then I had a little wobble when my dad went.
YOU'RE NOT ALONE
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.
It doesn't discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society - from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It's the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
Yet it's rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You're Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let's all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others... You're Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
"But listen I have got to talk about this and people, if you don’t want to hear it I’m not being rude but you can unfollow me. If I can stop one person from killing themselves, I have really made an impact in this world. I love you all. Be kind, be polite and be positive.”
Kirk described his dad as the “strongest man” he’d ever met.
"My dad is resting," he added. "I’m now going to graft as hard as I can for the rest of my life to make myself proud and my dad proud. Do everything for my kids like my dad did. Love you all."