Great Britain

I’ve been going to dogging sites because no one knows I’m gay


DEAR DEIDE: I HAVE been going to dogging sites so I can have sex with other men, but I’m terrified my wife will find out.

Now I need to find a less risky way of meeting other men for sexual encounters.

For more advice from Dear Deidre

No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.

I am 55 and have been married for 20 years.

I have known I was gay since I was a teenager, but I’m not out.

My wife is 50 and we haven’t had sex for years. However, I love her and I don’t want to hurt her by leaving.

We also have a 15-year-old daughter.

So I’ve been meeting men for sex in cars or in public toilets.

Get in touch in Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

I know there is a high chance I’ll get caught and I couldn’t bear the humiliation, or to see my wife’s pain.

How else can I find men who will make love to me?

DEIDRE SAYS: It is wrong to cheat – whatever your sexuality – and I can’t help facilitate that.

You say you don’t want to hurt your wife, but you are deceiving her and potentially putting her health at risk.

Sooner or later, she will discover the truth. Wouldn’t it be better if she heard it from you?

You would benefit from some relationship counselling together – get in touch with Tavistock Relationships (

My support pack, Gay Resources, has sources of support.

Football news:

A Lazio fan insulted Inter defender Dumfries on racial grounds. The moment got into the broadcast
Coach Anjera: Benzema deserved the Golden Ball. It will be sad if he doesn't get it. Karim is an example of a striker
Gary Neville: Salah can be the best in the world. Messi, Ronaldo, Neymar and Mbappe are not at the same level as before
Sadio Mane: Salah and Firmino are among the best players in the world. I am proud that I scored 100 goals in the Premier League
Manchester United flew to the match with Leicester by plane: the distance is 170 km, the travel time is 10 minutes. The club is criticized for being unecological
Two fans arrested for homophobic chants at the Man City - Burnley match
Barcelona has no plans to return Dani Alves, as he will take away playing time from Desta and Mingesa