Great Britain

I struggle to be around my pregnant friend because I miscarried last year… but I can’t tell her not to discuss it


DEAR DEIDRE: I’M over the moon for my friend who has just become pregnant – but her news comes at a bad time for me.

I was pregnant this time last year but I miscarried. It took a huge toll on me and, now the first anniversary is coming up, I’m finding it hard to be around my mate.

I’m 31 and she is 32.

She has an app to track the size of her unborn child and she tells me about its progress.

It’s going to break me when she gets to the stage I was when I lost my baby.

I can’t tell her not to discuss it.

I should be happy for her.

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DEIDRE SAYS: A miscarriage is not just the loss of a baby but also an imagined future.

Your friend may not have realised how you’re hurting.

Tell her how pleased you are for her but explain that it is bringing back painful memories for you.

Find support via the (01924 200 799).

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