DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my partner touches me I feel completely turned off.
We’ve been together since we were in university but we are now both 45.
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We always had an adventurous sex life but about five years ago, he had an accident and couldn’t work for six months. He put on a lot of weight.
Me and his mother cared for him between us.
He’s now working again but the weight has stayed on and his personal hygiene isn’t great. He wants sex but when he comes near me, I flinch.
I know I’m not being fair on him.
I’m not sure whether I’ll ever want sex again.
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DEIDRE SAYS: The dynamics have changed since you went from being his lover to his carer. Not taking pride in himself hasn’t helped.
Tell him you’re going to need some time to allow your sex drive to recover.
Explain that you both need to look after yourselves and suggest exercising together, with a shower afterwards.
My support pack called Sex Play Therapy may help you find your lost mojo.