Great Britain

I have a loving new partner but can’t get my abusive ex-wife out of my head


DEAR DEIDRE: RECENTLY I divorced my abusive wife and moved in with another woman who is lovely – but I cannot forget my ex.

I will always love her. It was just her evil temper I could not live with. She would pick fights and try to make me hit her.

I coped for eight years, until I left her last year.

We met when I was 30 and she was 29.

She had been married before and was the same with her ex, the dad of her child.

He did hit her and I cannot say I blame him.
I know the situation I am in now is for the best, my new partner is 27, funny, clever and all I could wish for.

But these thoughts are spoiling the relationship I have now.

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DEIDRE SAYS: You loved your ex, so it is natural to have mixed feelings about breaking up with her.

Maybe you moved on before you had healed enough.

Part of you still wishes there could have been a happy ending.

You can find support on the Men’s Advice Line (, 0808 801 0327).

Look after your new relationship.

Make an effort every day to tell your girlfriend how much you love and appreciate her.

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