Great Britain

I feel anxious all the time because I cannot get or keep an erection


DEAR DEIDRE: I SUFFER with anxiety in the bedroom because I cannot get or keep an erection.

I went to the doctor and have been checked out medically. I was given medication which helped a bit but what I need help with is the anxiety.

I am 28. My girlfriend is 26. She is amazing and very understanding but I feel so bad because I love her dearly. I know I am letting her down.

I have been with her for almost a year now and I want us to enjoy everything together. I don’t feel good about myself because I am such a useless lover.

I hate to think of myself going on like this indefinitely and I start worrying she will look for a “proper man” if I cannot improve my performance.

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DEIDRE SAYS: It is true that anxiety can block full sexual responsiveness but you can give your girlfriend a lot of sexual pleasure and satisfaction without a firm erection or even having intercourse.

Once you are confident about that, your anxiety will lessen and your performance problem will likely fade away.

My e-leaflet on Solving Erection Problems explains self-help sex therapy.

Docs 'mutilated' my penis while trying to fix month-long erection - now I’m impotent says 26-year-old Nat Thind