Great Britain

Gay guy I love told me he was raped after drunken sex but I’m scared he’s just using me


DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER having drunken sex with a gay guy, he broke down, saying he was raped last year by a male friend.

I’m in love with him but feel he’s using me. I’m a 27-year-old guy and grew extremely close to this man who I suspected to be gay. He’s 31.

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We had deep chats but always avoided the subject of how we felt about each other.

After a party last month we fell into each other’s arms drunkenly and had sex. He broke down afterwards, telling me about the rape.

I told him I wouldn’t tell anyone but since then he’s gone into himself. I feel so bad for him. I want to help.

But I also feel used and don’t want to get hurt again. Should I force him to speak about everything or let it lie?

DEIDRE SAYS: Men who are raped often find it even harder to talk about their ordeal than women victims, so don’t force him.

Start by talking to SurvivorsUK (020 3322 1860, who counsel male victims of sexual abuse.

My leaflet for Male Rape Victims can help him decide whether to report it.

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