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Fiance wants ‘pregnancy sex’ – but I’d rather have intense orgasms with my best mate

DEAR DEIDRE: MY fiance’s insistence that we start trying for “a football team” of kids straight away is pushing me into the arms of my best friend.

I’ve always known he wants lots of children — he’s a big family man — and I admit it was one of the things that attracted me. But his persistent badgering for “pregnancy sex” makes me want to run.


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We’ve been together for two years and for the whole second year he’s been begging me to come off the Pill. I’m 23 and he’s 25.

Although I want children, I don’t want them yet — and at the rate he’s going, I’m likely to go off the idea completely.

I got a promotion at the marketing agency I work for and feel I’m really starting to do well. But he doesn’t see the point of waiting and says the worst thing would be being an old mum and dad.

Now I don’t enjoy sex with him any more and we hardly sleep together these days.

He’s always sniping at me and complains about everything I do.

To get away from the griping I’ve been spending more time with my best mate.

He knows me inside-out and reassures me I don’t need to rush into becoming a mum.

Our friendship changed recently and became really flirty. Then we crossed a line — we ended up kissing and undressing each other on his sofa and did everything except have full sex.

It was amazing to be with someone without there being a cloud of resentment hanging above.

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Since then, we’ve started having regular sex and both have intense orgasms every time. Now my friend has said he’d like us to be together.

I’ll admit my feelings are growing stronger but I’m not ready to leave my boyfriend. I just feel so guilty and torn.

DEIDRE SAYS: It could be that neither man is your Mr Right. Either way, it will end in disaster if this triangle drags on. Someone will find out. They always do.

If you still have any hopes of your relationship lasting with your boyfriend, resist the temptation to see your friend.

Sit down with your boyfriend and explain how this baby pressure is making you feel. Explain that a woman’s peak fertility is between her late teens and late twenties, so you have plenty of time.

If you really can’t stop seeing your friend, it sounds as though your relationship with your boyfriend is not strong enough to last, anyway. My support pack Torn Between Two Men will help you think this through.

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