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Father-in-law is putting pressure on me to meet up and I have no time to myself

IT'S CONSTANT

DEAR DEIDRE:I’M getting worn down by my father-in-law’s constant invitations, and my wife doesn’t help by accepting without even asking me.

If it’s not a pint at the pub, it’s watching the football, going to the football, going for a bike ride, or fishing.

I have a busy week with work and want to relax at the weekend, but my father-in-law was recently widowed, so he’s lonely and has really stepped up his requests.

He is 72, I am 48 and  my wife is 43. I  like him and sometimes agree to spend time together but as soon as I arrive, he’s making plans for our next meeting.  

I’m beginning to feel pretty resentful.

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Our kids are grown up now, so they do their own thing, and I was looking forward to pleasing myself for once.

I don’t want to upset him, but I’m worried I’m going to lose my temper soon, as he has become so stifling.

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s natural that your father-in-law will be feeling a bit lost after the death of his wife.

It sounds as if you want  to support him after his bereavement, but are frustrated you’ve lost control over how much time you spend toge

Talk to your wife and explain that you would appreciate her running any arrangements by you first.

Could you make a regular date to see your dad-in-law – for example, every other Tuesday evening down the pub?