I expect they’ll blame Meghan.
American divorcees, coming over here, marrying our royals and putting divorcey-thoughts into people’s heads.
Not five minutes after Megxit, two other royal wives have put the pedal to the metal as well.
First Princess Anne’s son Peter Phillips and wife Autumn announced their split, followed by Earl of Snowdon David Linley and Serena.
With three children, a nephew and now her favourite grandchild divorced, the Queen is probably wondering what went wrong.
Unnamed courtiers have suggested Meghan’s decision to bail 18 months after dipping her sustainably-clad toes into royal waters gave Autumn similar ideas about returning home to Canada.
Funnily, that’s the same reason divorce was frowned upon as a sin for centuries, and why females are barred from driving in Iran - the idea that women infect each other with their ideas, like terrorists.
To some, marriage is just another control order. Independence is a form of jihad for the Royal Family. Theirs is a gender-equal prison, in which all outsiders are second-best.
Prince Philip had to walk two paces behind the Queen for decades, Sarah Ferguson was always ‘vulgar’, and Diana could never reconcile her urge to be heard with the role of being silently fertile.
It’s surprising more royal marriages don’t end. Imagine pledging your life to an entitled, over-privileged horse-botherer who had a working Aston Martin DB7 as his pedal car, who plays polo but has never driven one, and to whom sofas are gold things only ambassadors sit on.
What must it be like, taking them to DFS to get a new suite? Have they ever holidayed with someone who was not a paedophile?
They probably think toothpaste is replenished by fairies.
It’s amazing a naval war hero stuck with it for 70 years, but Philip did. It’s odd that a girl with every freedom imaginable married into a family with so few, but Kate has.
Meghan must have loved Harry very much to enter into a union in which one partner was always going to be subsumed by the other’s life, and also very determined that it would not be her.
As for Camilla and Fergie, who can’t seem to stay away – someone radicalise them, please. Autumn and Serena will end up with at least one house and can bin the ridiculous hats.
The Linleys lasted 26 years, perhaps because he cycled everywhere and had a proper job. The Sussex reign ended in abdication precisely because such normality was impossible.
The divorces are not what went wrong. It was marrying into an imprisoned, protocol-addled family of benefit-dependents in the first place that’s the crazy idea.
If the wives can have their freedom, why can’t they all?