DEAR DEIDRE: OUT of the blue, my boyfriend told me he wants to join a male pole-dancing club and considers himself “pansexual”.
He then went back to his normal self and seemed confused as to why he said it. He just kept saying he wasn’t gay.
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I am a 23-year-old woman and he is 25.
We have been together for two years. I told him that if he was gay, it was absolutely fine with me and he should live his life how he wants to.
I expected him to leave but he became quite aggressive and pushed me.
Now he alternates between being distant and vague, then touchy-feely and affectionate.
I’m worried I am wasting my time on someone who might turn out to be gay.
DEIDRE SAYS: The meaning of pansexual is being attracted to people regardless of gender and comes under the bisexual umbrella.
He sounds to be in turmoil but be clear that any form of violence is not OK.
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My e-leaflet on Bisexual Issues will help you to talk this through.
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