Bottles of beer on special offer, packs of socks saying “no.1 dad”, boxes of chocolates as big as your head and an overwhelming selection of cards to choose from.
It must be fast approaching Father’s Day. And with that comes the classic, the cringe and the “I want the floor to swallow me up” dad jokes.
We all know the kind and we’ve all experienced them in some form or another.
And to celebrate this year’s father’s day and all those wonderful jokes they throw our way, Thortful launched a hunt for the cheesiest dad jokes.
Thortful is an online greetings card marketplace where independent creatives sell their designs from all over the world.
These unique designs do not disappoint, offering a wide selection of the funniest and most lovable father’s day cards to choose from.
So to celebrate, Thortful assembled an index of the “Ultimate Dad Jokes” to showcase and celebrate dad humour in all its glory.
Celebrating the good, the bad and the jokes that we see our dads laughing to themselves whilst a stunned silence fills the room.
thortful asked the UK to submit their cheesiest dad jokes in order to reveal the “Ultimate Dad Jokes”.
Having analysed the entries and votes, thortful can now reveal the corniest dad puns of all – as voted by the nation.
Top 10 dad jokes
1. I went for an interview. They said, “Can you perform under pressure?” I said “I’m not sure about that but I can have a good crack at Bohemian Rhapsody”
2. Why can’t Elsa be trusted to hold a balloon? Because she’ll “Let it Go!”
3. What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
4. I've got a pen that can write underwater. It can write other words too but underwater is one of my faves.
5. Oh no... I've just ordered 1000 litres of Tippex... Big mistake.
6. My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up." "Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way.”
7. My pet mouse Elvis died last night, "he was caught in a trap!”
8. Just quit my job at the Helium factory. I won’t be spoken to in that tone!
9. Just adopted a dog from the local blacksmith, soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.
10. I used to be addicted to the Hokey Cokey, but I managed to turn myself around.
Ones that didn't quite make the top 10 included “Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit puns… you need to let that mango” and “How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poker face.”