I thought nothing would ever help with my anxiety – until I discovered DJ-ing

I’ve always been a people person. 

Public speaking, social occasions, going to events solo had never been a problem for me – even as a teenager, putting myself out there and throwing myself into things was how I made friends beyond the classroom; finding communities with like minded people.

It’s an approach I took into adulthood, helping in my personal and professional lives.

Until Covid hit.

Since the pandemic, I’ve found socialising and public spaces much more difficult. I don’t know what specifically caused it, but I get anxious about the seemingly little things, wondering what new people are thinking of me, and impatiently wanting to leave events early to go home.

Even meeting up with old friends for a catch up can leave me nervous. It feels as if my social battery is constantly running on empty. 

I was at my wit’s end trying to get on top of my anxiety, and feeling overwhelmed and confused by my constant worries, when I found help in the unlikeliest of places – a DJ-ing kit. 

From a random hobby to finding me work and a partner, I truly couldn’t live without my decks and software now.

I was taken by surprise when I started feeling anxious for the first time when lockdowns started to ease; I became hot and cold all over when meeting new people, and unable to focus. 

Determined to beat this unpleasant intruder in my brain, I tried everything. Every suggestion, every tip, everything that could possibly help, I’ve attempted. 

From making a conscious effort to check in with my friends and family, to self-help books that say ‘being present’ is the answer to all my problems, and taking myself on solo dates that are out of my comfort zone.

I’ve been to the doctors, and was eventually prescribed anxiety medication. But nothing seemed to help.

I thought that trying a hobby completely unrelated to things I usually lean towards – like new exercise classes – and activities that dominate my day to day life – like reading and writing – would help.

So In September 2021, inspired by my life-long love of music, I bought myself a set of beginner’s decks and began DJing. 

Growing up, music was always my primary coping mechanism when home or school was not a happy space, and the thought of being able to create my own mixes to listen to while I worked, walked or wrote excited me.

I used to play clarinet as a child, grew up in a house that constantly had my dad’s records spinning, and had even winged my way through choir despite a terrible singing voice, but mixing music had never been something that crossed my mind, until my anxiety kicked up a gear. 

I bought myself some starter kit –  my decks (the Pioneer CDJ 200s) and a monthly subscription to Rekordbox software, which you use to mix your songs. 

Now all there was left to do was download my favourite tracks and watch some YouTube tutorials.

I compiled a playlist of music featuring some of the DJs I love – Kabza De Small, Prince Kaybee, Kaytranada to name a few – and got started. 

Within an hour of playing around with my entry level decks, I was hooked. 

Even though I might not have been a natural – and perfecting my mixing skills is an ongoing process – blending two songs that I loved and hearing the subtle changes in the tones of music was a transcendental experience. 

This was the start of how I fell in love with DJing.

This love story is actually no surprise. Music is known to impact the amount of stress hormones in your body. Reducing these can mean my symptoms of anxiety are less severe. 

By reaching for my decks whenever I feel a little low or anxious, the experience of working with my favourite music becomes a healing practice. 

As the music flows through my body, it allows me to be entirely present in an activity that I love, with zero distractions. DJing offers me a creative form of escapism from the thoughts that run through my mind. 

Not only this, but creating music has become a massively social activity for me; helping tackle the social anxiety that hit during the pandemic. 

By attending in person events that play the genres I love, I’ve connected with DJs that I look up to, have found new communities online and even interviewed one of my favourite Amapiano DJs for a recent article. 

Knowing I have something I’m passionate to talk about with strangers has also taken a lot of my nerves away from interacting with new people. 

I even met my partner through DJ-ing; we crossed paths through our love of music online, and ended up having our first date at Pirate Studios where he helped me master my transitions on the decks.

Together, we recently hosted our first event in Brighton, where our friends came to support and enjoy our work in a big group. 

I’ve met amazing artists who mix the genres I love – Amapiano and Afro House – enabling me to carve out more space in my life for social events that don’t make me anxious. 

Since learning this new hobby, I’ve now performed at bars and even a club, with large crowds of people I don’t know, something I wouldn’t have thought possible just a few years ago. 

I’ve been overwhelmed by the positive response, the way that DJing brings strangers together on the dancefloor, with others you’ve never met expressing gratitude for the music you’ve played during a set. 

Performing publicly was something I once feared, but now I feel most at ease behind the decks.

When I’m there, I feel safe. When I’m working at an event, I don’t have any worries about what people’s perceptions are, because playing my music brings strangers together. 

Now, whenever I DJ, whether that is at home, at an event, or in a studio, I enter a euphoric state that allows all of the daily mental noise to fall away with ease. 

DJing for me is an activity of solitude, that (for a change) doesn’t leave me feeling tired of my own thoughts. 

Learning to DJ has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. 

I’ve met the love of my life while immersing myself in a new hobby that brings me joy, and has even given me the chance to earn money performing. 

And my mental wellbeing is better than it was even before the pandemic.  

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